Wallwater Electric High School “Youth Response” Assessment for Students Soon to Graduate
Please answer out the following questions using CLEAR AND LEGIBLE handwriting.
1. Your full name:
I already wrote it at the top of the paper
2. Describe your household- how many live there, what condition is it in, etc.
Nine people live in my glimmering household
3. Have you done well academically at W.E.H.S.?
Most of the time, I mean, I didn’t fail anything
3b. If your answer was “NO,” how could you have done better?
There is no way I can do better unless I travel through time, like the HG Wells story
4. What classes did you particularly enjoy?
Ones where the teachers weren't fuddy duddies
5. What sort of EXTRA-CURRICULAR, SCHOOL ORGANIZATION activities have you participated in?
I used to participate in stage crew, and Lady Library Leaders but they took that one away. Why did they take that one away? Can you ask them to reinstate it? I know they didn’t like the girl running it but it wasn’t that bad really
6. What are your hobbies outside of school?
Chasing and collecting varmints
8. ETHICS & MORALS. If you found ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS on the sidewalk, what would you do?
I would find and befriend the person who lost it to see if they were a benevelent type. How rich do you have to be to drop a hundred smackers on the sidewalk? I mean I lost five dollars once and got in trouble and that’s not even a piece of a piece of a hundred. Imagine the person walking around dripping money like some confused Hansel and Gretel
9. AMBITIONS & ASPIRATIONS. What do you intend to do after graduating? CONSIDER Young men, will you be able to FINANCIALLY SUPPORT A FAMILY?
I will consider young men, though older ones are often kind.
10. PRIDE & APPEARANCES. We remind students that they represent Wallwater Electric High School, as well as the town of Wallwater, even when outside of school. With this in mind, what would you consider to be your best feature? (POSTURE, DRESS, HYGIENE, ETC.)
No one told me this before. If I represent the town I ought to buy the scarf that has the ugly stiched-on school letters on it and wear it around, shouldn’t I? You should tell people about this sooner, it’s too late for me I’m afraid
11. What skills do you possess that are likely to help you in the future?
I have made it this far and haven’t died yet, and therefore deduce that I am skilled at what the French call “not dying”
13. Share an interesting fact about yourself.
Well, there was one time when I was younger, I went over to play with the neighbor kid but he wasn’t there, so I went inside anyway to play with his toys, because he had these brilliant metal figures his dad had made. I came home later and it turned out HE CAME TO MY HOUSE AND PLAYED WITH MY TOYS. We had just missed each other somehow! Perhaps one of us went through the backyard and the other through the front or something
14. YOU HAVE NEARLY COMPLETED THE QUESTIONNAIRE. What is your most cherished memory from your time spent at Wallwater High School?
My goodness. This isn’t the kind of thing you can just ask a person right on the spot. I can’t even begin to fathom an answer that would be appropriate to this question. Perhaps, perhaps I will just say it was the day they just decided to bring buckets and buckets of popcorn in for all the students to eat. Except that never happened. We were supposed to have popcorn day, people promised Popcorn Day, I saw many posters proclaiming the coming of Popcorn Day. I now realize it was a cruel ruse designed by the administration to trick us into believing that they would provide us with salted treats